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How to punish a child?

Even though you love your cherub, you must impose certain limits on him. Not only does this help him behave well, but it also gives him security. Very often, when children reach school age, they like to push the limits of their parents. It is for this reason that the latter are sometimes obliged to punish them.


Why is it important to establish discipline at home?


Just like in school, you need to establish discipline at home. It is not a simple question of authority, it is above all a question of framing the behavior of your child. As your baby gets older, he may want to rebel against your authority because he wants to feel cool around his friends or for other reasons. Thus, he could be tempted to resort to unacceptable behavior: hence the importance of rules and limits.


Set rules and boundaries


To be able to punish your child, and ensure that he does not repeat his nonsense again, you must first establish certain rules and certain limits. These rules must be clearly explained so that your toddler is able to fully understand them. Thanks to these limits, he knows what he must and must not do. Imposing rules and limits on your child therefore allows him to have benchmarks on a daily basis.


Explain the consequences of breaking the rules


When the rules are laid down and well explained, they must now be respected. Otherwise, a sanction will be given. If your cherub dares to defy the ban for the first time, you can explain to him that he is behaving badly. You can give him a warning and tell him that if he does it again, it won't be harmless. If he does it again, the penalty will be applied.


How do you reprimand your child's bad behavior?


When you become a parent, you have to take it out of your head that punishing your child could harm his love for you. Being lax will only encourage bad behavior in your little one. The worst thing when he thinks he's allowed everything is that he can put himself in danger without necessarily knowing it. Not only are you not going to act for his good, but you are going to prevent him from structuring himself properly.

Punishment after a mistake is the best way to show that you care about your child. You shouldn't blame yourself when you punish him. Moreover, for the children, knowing that there are prohibitions allows them to feel safe, because even if they will sulk or groan after the punishment, they will feel protected through the barriers that you have put up. .

Be careful all the same, it is not because laxity is not recommended in the education of your child that you must be intransigent at the slightest nonsense. For each fault, you must find the appropriate sanction. Your goal is not to scare him, but to empower him and encourage him to adopt acceptable behaviors. How to punish him then?


What kinds of punishment can you give?


You can give two types of sanction.

  • Punishment can be positive, and in this case, the consequence of breaking the rules is to ask for something your child doesn't like to do. For example, you ask him to do the dishes if he doesn't like doing that.


  • The punishment can be negative. With this type of punishment, you are depriving your child of something he loves. If he likes, for example, playing with his tablet, you will confiscate it from him in case of stupidity so that he realizes that what he has done is not good.

The withdrawal of the child itself is part of the negative punishments. You can apply it to a child over 3 years old. By isolating your cherub from his friends for a few moments, he will tend to calm down if he was agitated or angry. Also, it discourages him from reoffending. Once calm, you should talk together about what just happened. At the same time, you can teach him some techniques to calm down.

Among the forms of negative punishment is also intentional ignorance. You can reduce inappropriate behavior by intentionally ignoring it. Often, if you pay the slightest attention to them, your child will repeat them over and over again if their purpose is precisely to get your attention. It should be added that this sanction only works if your intervention is not necessary. In the event that your little one hits his friend, you absolutely must intervene.

Besides these two types of punishment, you can also ask for a gesture of reparation from your cherub. If, for example, he broke his friend's toy on purpose, you can ask him to put it back together and apologize. Through this punishment, your child learns that he must assume the consequences of his inappropriate actions.


What types of punishment should you avoid?


To put your little one back on the right track after an inappropriate gesture or a poor school result:

  • Avoid punishing him without understanding what is going on. If he gets bad grades in school, first understand his difficulties before thinking about punishment. If you don't even understand them and give the punishment directly, your toddler might have a harder time raising his grade point average. Instead, you can confiscate his toy so that he can be more focused, for example.


  • Also avoid depriving him of his dessert. To be healthy, he must have a full meal. It is the same for his pocket money, his story before bedtime or even an outing or an activity already planned. Indeed, if for example you deprive your baby of his story which is part of the evening ritual, instead of correcting his behavior, you will only disturb his sleep.


  • Corporal punishment (slap, slap, spanking…) should also be banned. Communication should always be preferred to violence. In addition to being nothing but aggression for your child, it is a reflex that he risks developing later. Likewise, his confidence in you can be negatively impacted.


  • Avoid giving punishment out of anger. You must always stick to the rules you have established. The penalties you apply should always be appropriate. In no case should they be used as an excuse to vent your bad mood. Therefore, regain your composure before seeking the punishment your child deserves.

How can punishments be beneficial?


For the punishments to be beneficial, they must correspond to the seriousness of the stupidity committed. You are not going to punish a child who has drawn on a wall in the same way as a child who has endangered his friend. When the faults are serious, the reprimands must be severe, this is also the case if they become too frequent. On the other hand, a small stupidity must deserve a minimal punishment. It should be like this for all siblings.

By modulating your child's punishments, you make him understand the seriousness of his act. Even if you want to condemn his bad behavior by punishing him, what you want above all is to make him grow and educate him well. So help him progress and learn from his mistakes.


How do you encourage good behavior in your child?


When your little one has done well, you should encourage him to reproduce these behaviors. You can reinforce good behavior in two ways:

  • By giving him something he likes. It can be an object, congratulations, time, a privilege, etc. When he behaves well, you can, for example, give him extra time to play.


  • By sparing him something he doesn't like. If he hates doing the dishes, you can, for example, take it away from him if he behaved well.

Reinforcing good behavior reduces the occurrence of bad behavior. Encouraging your cherub to do right encourages him to stop doing wrong. So, as soon as the opportunity arises, do not forget to congratulate him. He will realize the benefits of his good behaviors and will be better able to apply them in daily life.



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