When should you announce your pregnancy to your children?
- 1 When should you announce your pregnancy to your child?
- 2 How to announce your pregnancy to your child?
- 3 What to do if your child does not show any joy at the announcement of your pregnancy?
- 4 Do you have to explain to your child what a baby is?
- 5 How to manage the small regressions after the announcement of your pregnancy?
Are you pregnant with your second baby? This is good news, but how do you tell your loved ones? The first person you tell may be your husband, your best friend, your mom, or a trusted adult.
Have you thought about your child? You may be afraid to announce your pregnancy to him. This article gives you some tips on how to do it correctly.
When should you announce your pregnancy to your child?
Although there is no best time to announce your pregnancy to your child, it is best not to announce it too soon. Not only does your little one not have the same notion of time as adults, but it would also save him some trouble in the event of a miscarriage. Nine months of waiting might seem too long for a child. Likewise, learning that ultimately there will be no baby could upset him.
Generally, the announcement of a pregnancy is made from the third trimester. This should also be the case for your cherub. Announce the news between the 3e and the 5e month of your pregnancy, it is from this moment that your belly begins to round out and show itself. However, avoid at all costs talking about the pregnancy in her presence when you haven't told her anything yet. This can happen during a telephone discussion. He may feel threatened and isolated within the family.
Still, there are some children who manage to notice some changes in your behavior as early as the first trimester. He might ask himself questions and ask you questions too. The best thing is to tell him the truth directly. It is useless to hide it from him, because he will know it sooner or later. You must ensure that it is you who announce the news and not a third party. This could make her feel like a betrayal on your part, which could lead to negative feelings about the newborn.
How to announce your pregnancy to your child?
It is advisable to make the announcement to two (mum and dad). If that's not possible, you can do it alone. When you go to do it, choose a quiet time and place. As for how to do it, there are several. There are mothers who show their ultrasound, others who do little riddles (for older children). The ideal would be to do it quite naturally, like when you announce good news.
Just be sure to use simple words that are easy to understand and aim to normalize and de-escalate the situation. Also use a tone that is both soft and reassuring. Smile and make tender gestures. Tell your child that he will soon have a little sister/brother. To give him an idea of when he will arrive, use markers such as “before Christmas”, “after the holidays” or “around New Years”.
During the announcement, you must show your joy and not your anguish. No matter what emotion you feel, your baby will feel it too. If there's fear in your voice or on your face, he might suspect that it's really good news. He might even wonder if he should be happy about this news.
Moreover, even if your role is to reassure him in the face of his possible doubts, you should not do more than necessary. If you feel that he shows no concern at the announcement of your pregnancy, there is no need to insist on the fact that you will always love him so much. Instead of being reassured, he may lose the assurance he already had and begin to doubt.
What to do if your child does not show any joy at the announcement of your pregnancy?
It's completely normal for your child to show no joy at the thought of becoming a big brother or big sister. It may be due to a lack of understanding. To help him better understand the event, you can read him children's books on the subject. It's a great way to explain your pregnancy to her in age-appropriate words. For example, you can get these books:
- Marianne Vilcoq, I'm expecting a little brother, The School of Recreation, 2001
- Nathalie Belineau, Expecting a baby, The imagery of toddlers, Fleurus, 2004
- Catherine Dolto, Expecting a little brother or sister, Giboulées, coll. Casually 2006
On the other hand, if you rather read sadness on his face when he is already old enough to understand the situation, give him comfort. Show her the benefits of having a new family member and having a sibling. If you have siblings, use good examples to instill envy in them.
It also happens that your little one is indifferent to the arrival of the new baby. In that case, be patient. Above all, do not show him that you are disappointed or sad. On the contrary, tell him that you expect nothing from him, because taking care of the baby is your role and not his. Do not inflict pressure or constraint on him and you will see that he will take an interest in this future birth on his own.
Do you have to explain to your child what a baby is?
It is important to explain what a baby is to your child. If he is still small, what he will understand by baby is a small being like him. He might be disappointed at birth if he finds the infant just eating, sleeping and crying. He could also get annoyed since a lot of your attention will be focused on him.
In order to anticipate any questions he might have as well as the probable inconveniences, explain to him the daily life at home with a new baby even before his birth. To better illustrate your explanations, you can use your family photo albums to show him photos of him when he was still very young. Your husband or his grandparents can take care of it for you if you feel very tired from the pregnancy.
The main thing is to make her understand the positive sides of pregnancy and the future birth. He must know that during his first months, he also took all the time from his mother. He had to take time off to be able to talk, walk and play. In this way, he will be more inclined to welcome his little brother or sister.
How to manage the small regressions after the announcement of your pregnancy?
Your child may be subject to small regressions (eg bedwetting, thumb sucking) after your announcement or when the newborn arrives. Nothing too bad, he does this just to get your attention. He wants to make sure you always love him. Faced with this, you should not make him feel guilty, scold him or dramatize the situation.
Give him time to understand that he doesn't have to be jealous of his little brother or sister. Explain to her that the love you are going to give to both will be the same. Make her understand her place in the family, in the siblings and value her. When he understands it, he will adapt better. It is usually a temporary crisis, but if it persists, it is recommended to consult a health professional.